We’ve all heard the advice to “be kinder to yourself,” but in an industry built on urgency and trauma exposure, that can feel like something reserved for a distant future.
Interestingly, when our self-compassion increases, so does our compassion for others. And the best way to impact both is through mindfulness and meditation! The benefits of practicing mindfulness and meditation are vast—physically, emotionally, and psychologically…I could go on for pages. The focus of this blog is how mindfulness can increase compassion toward ourselves and others.
In an article published last year in Traumatology, Clark et al. examined the impact of a 12‑week resilience and loving‑kindness meditation program on secondary traumatic stress among child welfare professionals. Participants in the group‑based intervention showed significant increase in resilience and reductions in secondary traumatic stress.
As a child welfare professional, trauma exposure is unavoidable, but we can metabolize the trauma differently with resilience practices. Meditation can help with emotional regulation, awareness without overwhelm, and calming the nervous system.
Loving-kindess meditation is one version of meditation that I believe can have positive impact after one session. It is a contemplative practice that helps cultivate feelings of goodwill, care, and compassion—first toward yourself, then in ripples outward to loved ones, neutral people, difficult people and all beings.
In practicing the loving-kindness meditation recently, I thought of my neighbor who had a banner on his fence with which I vehemently disagreed. I held my neighbor in my mind and wished him these things: May you be safe, may you be healthy, and may you live with ease. It softened my attitude toward him just a little bit. What would it be like to practice this meditation and hold a parent or a judge in your mind?
“Mindfulness appears to cultivate empathy and compassion [in] that it guards against the feelings of stress and busyness that make us focus more on ourselves and less on the needs of other people,” says Shapiro in the article “Does Mindfulness Make You More Compassionate?” Resilience is a protective factor and is strengthened through practices like mindfulness.
The self-compassion expert, Kristen Neff, notes that many people mistakenly believe self-compassion is a form of self-pity or weakness, and it will make you complacent, narcissistic, and selfish. Rather, self-compassion is a more effective force for personal motivation than self-punishment, it strengthens personal accountability, and helps us acknowledge that we share the human condition of imperfection. When I have self-compassion for my mistakes, my quick judgments, and my bad days, I can extend compassion for my co-worker’s bad days and my kid’s mistakes as well.
There are many ways to practice meditation. I am trying to integrate practicing each day by using the Insight Timer app, listening to the loving-kindness meditation and intentionally pausing for five minutes to focus on my breathing. May you find ways to embrace self-compassion and may it overflow to all those around you.
Need a more guided way to practice self-compassion?
If you’re someone who benefits from a more concrete way to practice mindful self-compassion, one exercise I’ve found meaningful is Self-Compassion Letter Writing. This wellbeing tool is one we use as part of our workforce resilience and belonging work with system partners. It invites you to name something you struggle with and respond to it as you would a close friend—with understanding, honesty, and care. It’s not something to do perfectly or even regularly, but something you might return to on a hard day. If that feels like it might be helpful, I’ve included it here.
Download the Self-Compassion Letter Writing Guide 🔗
References
Clark, S. L., Miller, B., Akin, B. A., Barney, R., Theile, K., Carr, K., & McArthur, V. (2025). Investigating the effects of resilience and meditation interventions on secondary traumatic stress among child welfare professionals: A randomized clinical trial. Traumatology, 31(4), 568–582. https://doi.org/10.1037/trm0000609
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/does_mindfulness_make_you_compassionate
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_five_myths_of_self_compassion